Caregivers Need Love Too!

A cancer patient’s caregiver is as important to them as their team of doctors.  Many patients have several caregivers while others have only one.  It could be a spouse, parent, child, sibling, co-worker or a dear friend.  This person signs up for a long hard road.  Caring for someone with cancer is not easy -physically or emotionally- and it takes at least a year to get to the end of treatment.  For those living with stage 4 cancer it can go on for many years.  The outcome may not always be survival, and they must carry that weight as much as the patient themselves.

Caregivers need just as much support, if not more, than the patient.  They are the ones who drive the patient to each of their appointments.  They sit with them while they receive chemotherapy.  They can listen to the doctors and collect important information that the patient might miss. They hold the bag or can when the patient is nauseous.  They do all of the cooking because the patient cannot deal with the smells of most foods.  Some patients need help bathing.  They have to keep a positive attitude around the patient even though they may be fighting back tears or anger.  They have to convince the patient that everything is going to be OK, even though they are not sure themselves.  They may have to help the patient with bandaging, draining tubes, or taking medication.  They have to get up at 3 AM to rush the patient to the emergency room if something goes wrong. 

They do all of this while trying to maintain their own daily routines such as family, meals, and their job.  I applaud every caregiver out there for their strength, endurance, and unconditional love!  Thing is, who cares for the caregivers? 

Fortunately there are many programs around today that do just that.  They provide support and information for caregivers on a range of subjects such as time management, financial planning, ideas for stress relief, even nutrition.  Organizations like the American Cancer Society, the National Cancer Institute, and the National Alliance for Caregiving all provide information on their websites.

The best plan is to have more than one person helping the patient.  That way you can split the responsibilities and relieve some of the stress.  It can be especially hard when you simply have no one else to help.  One of the best things to do if you are trying to care for a patient alone is to seek out a support group.  You can do this by phone, through email, or even online.  Chatting with other caregivers is the best way to learn the ins and outs, and gather answers and advice from other caregivers who have been through all of this before.

Where to begin? You can use the links I have provided here, or you can talk to the patient’s healthcare team to get you started in the right direction.  Most cancer centers have libraries you can visit to not only research the patient’s particular type of cancer, but they are also a great resource for meeting other people in your area who are dealing with the same issues.

As the patient, you also need to be able to seek out a caregiver once you are diagnosed.  If you have no immediate family that can help you, try asking co-workers, friends, or the healthcare staff where you are receiving treatment.  It is extremely important to have help during this time and not to be too afraid to ask for it.  You cannot do this alone, nor should you have to!

My mother was my primary caregiver and she had relatively no help.  I can not even imagine how hard that must have been for her, to worry that her child might die before her.  How hard it must have been to watch me lose all of my hair.  I am sure I did my fair share of complaining as well.  Mom...I love you and I appreciate you, and I thank you for being the best caregiver I could ever have!