Generation Chemo Brain

As the brilliant comedian George Carlin once said "That's the whole meaning of life isn't it? Trying to find a place for your stuff!" 

Having chemo brain is like trying to fill a storage unit with too much furniture; you have to get rid of some stuff to make room for more stuff. For me, the stuff I am forced to give up are my short term memory, word recall, attention span, concentration and multi-tasking.  I have started referring to this as having ADHD-OCD. And I am not even a Virgo! (that joke was for my Mother).

Before my diagnosis I was a multi-tasking maniac!  I could have an entire conversation without struggling to find the word I was looking for.  I had put myself back in college at 41 years old and was a master of the essay.  Once I began treatment I had to take a five month break from classes because it was so hard to retain information, read, or write, and my GPA was at risk.  Needless to say, I only attained my Associate Degree because I ran out of funds and the brain power to continue to the Bachelor Degree.  Life changing.  Sad.

The Mayo Clinic website describes the term chemo brain as "...a common term used by cancer survivors to describe thinking and memory problems that can occur after cancer treatment."  They go on to say... "Though chemo brain is a widely used term, it's misleading. It's unlikely that chemotherapy is the sole cause of concentration and memory problems in cancer survivors. Researchers are working to understand the memory changes that people with cancer experience."

Some people have suggested to me that it must be a combination of several other things such as the stress of a cancer diagnosis; medically-induced menopause; hormonal changes; related fatigue and/or insomnia; and medications.  All I know is my brain has not been the same since.  

This has forced me - and many others - to change the way we think and work.  Some have started to journal, others keep post-it notes all over the place.  Using the calendar function on my cell phone has helped me remember appointments by setting up the alerts to remind me a day or two in advance.  I kept showing up to appointments either at the wrong time or the wrong day entirely, and it was really starting to worry me.  With Alzheimer's in the family, it was a growing concern.

Enter friends and family.  We start to pull away because we find it harder and harder to communicate. The funny looks as we stumble around for the right word or forget what we were talking about all together, is almost too much to bear.  Facebook? Forget it!  I would scroll past about 3 or 4 posts and lack the concentration to keep going.  Isolation.  It is never intentional, but inevitable when you grow tired of trying to explain your chemo brain to everyone.  We start turning down invitations to socialize because we do not want to embarrass or humiliate ourselves. Well that, and in my case the fact that I only have one breast and am suffocating in my self-loathing.

I implore anyone with a friend or family member dealing with cancer to be patient.  Yes, coming from the queen of impatience this makes me sound like a total hypocrite but I am being serious here. A little patience and understanding goes a long way with us. Hey! If you know that word I am struggling to come up with, just blurt it out, I could use the help! You have no idea how many times I had to stop writing this post to look something up on Dictionary.com! Writing about chemo brain, while having chemo brain...priceless.

These days more and more people are surviving cancer than ever before.  This presents a new opportunity for the research community.  We have spent the last few decades researching a cure, while ignoring the cause. Now we need to focus on the long-term side effects from treatment that survivors are dealing with.  

Speak out. Talk to your doctors.  Talk to other cancer survivors. Read.  

❕ Let's start a movement before we forget what we were talking about ❕

Image provided by Pixabay.com